I remembered this from some psychology lecture in college. Denial is the first stage and I was deep in it. If Mary was cheating, our marriage was dead... But she couldn't be. I wondered if I would suffer all stages of grief for the death of my love. I wondered if I ever reached acceptance, would the pain and heartbreak follow me forever.I met Mary in college. I was studying computer science and as part of the general education requirements I had to take an English class. I was not looking forward. While sitting in the big comfortable chair, I made a few notes on the pad on the desk, trying to put an idea I had into perspective. I called Gene and asked him if he knew a driver that had retired and perhaps still needed a job. A crew chief would be good, perhaps even better. He gave me some names and phone numbers. I told him a little of my idea and he thought it had merit and could see how we might be welcomed at a track on race day.Knowing the dimensions of a big trailer, I jotted down. Jim is 38 tears old and we have been married for 10 years. I love him so.And he loves me. That got me to thinking about the things that I reallylove. Jim. Our Marriage, My work, my Salon. And I do really love being agirl. Just like the song says: I enjoy being a girl.I enjoy being a girl. That got me to thinking about my love for Jim. Jim isso wonderful and seems so happy. But maybe he could be even happier. Irealized that I wanted to make Jim as happy as he could be. And what couldmake Jim. On the bed was a short-sleeved shirt, a pair of light trousers and ajumper. These were what he was planning to wear on the way home. Simonthought about what he'd packed and it was mostly shorts and t-shirts.This was probably the only clothes in the suitcase that would bepractical in the fickle English weather.When Rachel came in she saw a confused Simon sat in the chair. "What'swrong Simon?" she asked, reverting to his male name as he was dressed inmale clothes."I don't know," he replied.
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